Thursday, July 8, 2010

A Step Back Into The Broom Closet

My parents came to visit this week and I did something I haven't done in a couple of years - I hid in the broom closet.  I put away my books, dismantled my altar and hid my tools.  You see, my father is not exactly open-minded.  This was the first time that he has visited since I moved into this apartment a few years ago.  I normally keep the guest room as my own personal sanctuary.  I have two bookshelves full of Pagan books.  I have a dresser that serves as an altar and which has drawers that organize all my tools (one for herbs, one for candles, one for stones - yes yes, I am THAT neurotic) and a large chest that holds everything that doesn't fit in those categories.  In the last year or two, I have started leaving everything intact when company comes, even when that company includes friends of Fiance.  I have even started leaving books around in the living room where they are much more visible and likely to attract attention.  But my father is a different story.  Don't get me wrong, I love him, I mean REALLY love him and I am very much like him.  But the minute I see him, it is like I am a teenager again who is constantly looking for his approval.  And so, even now, at 28, I hide the things that I think he will disapprove of and I feel incredibly sad while doing so.


Tea Witch said...

Don't feel bad/sad/ashamed about hiding what you are for your dad. I often pretend to be "normal" when around my mother. I wear shirts that I can tuck my isis/pentacle necklace in so that she doesn't have to see it and when people she knows ask about my religious preference (it happens a lot here in the south) she will interject and say that I'm a spiritual person. The word Pagan is frowned upon by her.

It's completely normal to want to please your parents...and avoid a complicated situation that could end up with hurt feelings for all involved. As long as you have your faith...that's all that really matters. Not the books, stones, statues, or anything else that we Pagans like to use. Faith....that's what it's all about.

Love and Hugs

Rowan Silverstar said...

I read this & thought to myself "I'm so glad I'm not the only one who does this when family, esp. parents come to visit" My dad's been staying with me every wknd for the past month while my mom is in the hospital. Down came my altar, the books went either in the closet or under the bed (which he almost found when looking for my cat who was sleeping under there). I even sneak onto my "magical" fb profile when he's not around, so he can't see it. I, too, feel like a teenager & I'm 36!! But my parents are VERY religious and intolerant about these things.

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