Saturday, May 14, 2011

My Poor Herbs...

It seems I have been a bad bad green witch.  Upon moving into my new home, I had hoped that I would be able to overwinter my potted herbs in the (fairly sheltered) space under the front steps.  Unfortunately, I am seeing very few signs of life... I am thinking that I will have to start over.

The only plant that seems to be doing ok is the chives:

Here is the new plan: have fiance build a raised bed garden for the backyard.  I am going to start small, with a box that is 3 feet by 6 feet.  I plan to remove the sod from that area and dig down a few more inches (the soil underneath seems like a fairly equal mix of clay and sand).  This will allow me to fill it with good, healthy soil for my herbs and (hopefully) will allow my herbs to actually survive next winter.

Monday, April 25, 2011

An Explained Absence and a Big Announcement

For those of you who have been wondering where on Earth I have been hiding these last few months I would like to apologize and explain.  The reason I have been neglecting my blogging duties is because I am finding myself sick and tired a great deal of the time.  The reason that I am finding myself sick and tired is.........

I'm Pregnant!

It was a big shock, and I spent some time worried and scared to death but now things have settled down and I am happily awaiting the birth of my first child.  Though, I am very nervous about all the things I need to buy and the huge learning curve I am about to embark upon. 

Sunday, January 23, 2011


I have a crippling and debilitating fear of needles.  This fear has not had a great impact on my life because I have avoided shots and blood tests for a very long time.  However, as I get older, I am experiencing increased anxiety about the "what ifs" in life.  What if I get sick and have to deal with this on a regular basis, what if I avoid important testing because I am afraid of my reaction? 

I recently had a doctor ordered blood test.  I sucked it up, took a day off work and had fiance take me to the clinic.  Prior to this, my last blood test was 5 years ago.  I thought I would be ok.  I thought I might have gotten over the fear.  I thought "hey, I'm more grown up now, I can handle this".  I was dead wrong.  In the past, I have gotten worked up about the needle before entering the office.  This time, I was fine, chatting in the waiting area, following the nurse into the cubicle, sitting down in the chair.  And then I started crying, and feeling sick, and dizzy.  And then, for the first time in my entire life, I passed out.  Completely unconscious.  It. Was. Scary.  To make matters worse, because I passed out, the nurse was unable to finish and had to start over, on the other arm.  It was, easily, one of the worst medical experiences I have had in my life.  In fact, I am starting to feel a little ill while writing this.

Nobody seems to understand how difficult this is to overcome.  I have tried rationalizing: I know it doesn't hurt, I know the tests are necessary to my health and I know that nothing bad is going to happen to me while undergoing the test - telling myself those things doesn't make the anxiety stop.  I have tried deep breathing, I have tried visualization - nothing works. 

Has anyone else out there experienced a debilitating fear?  Have you had to deal with the "helpful" people who give advice like "just look away" (to which I think - OH MY GOD! I never thought about turning away! You have just solved ALL my problems!).  Have you found a way to conquer your fear?  I have gotten so desperate that I have considered seeing a therapist or hypnotist but don't know if anyone has found either of those options helpful.  Is there anyone out there who understands what I am going through?